Maximum Overdrive

I've got that Stephen King book on the brain. You know, the one where all the machina goes crazy and attacks people...most notably, semi trucks.

I was almost run off the road today...Twice. The culprit was, as it is most times, a semi truck driver. Now, while today's double near-death experience is most definitly what broke the camel's proverbial back, it was not the first time I've had to swerve for my life from these mindless, shambling behemoths of the freeway. A public nuisance really, a nessessary evil of the consumer driver culture we created, and are now prisoners of.

As a frequenter of interstate 71, and a driver of a tiny black sports car, my battle for existense on the highway is daily one. A person with a decent level common sense might think that as a mature and responsible adult with fourteen more wheels than me, a few tons of steel, and typically hazardous materials of some kind at your fingertips you would feel some sense of obigation to the other drivers on the roadway, but NOOOOOOO!!!!!

I'm the one who has to listen to radio commercials telling ME to drive safely when around truckers, and to watch how close I get to them, ME! I'm the one who has to sweat bullets every time I see one of you. Do I attempt to pass and risk you merging over ontop of me? Do I stay back and pray the you don't rock off the road a bit (which happens almost everytime I see you. Take a break and get some sleep, the life you save could be mine!), and have to jerk back over to save a wreck, mashing your brakes and assuming that I am prepared to manuver around this potential catastrophe. I have prayed more around semi trucks than at any other point in my life thus far (except, perhaps when I'm flying), you get me closer to God...

Goddamn ego maniacal, redneck, mother-fuckin', "We own the road, big truck equals big dick" mentality, cloggin' up my merging lanes, never signaling for a lane change, no marketable trade, chauncy-assed monkeys with licences, YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING DRIVERS ON THE ROAD, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!

All I'm Asking for is the ability to make it to and from work without having to beg the gods to spare the life of thier lowly line cook, one more time. Is that so much? Really?