It's night, and on the water the moon gives only an errie illumination to the stillness. The breeze is the only noise now, and my breath coming in long, even draws, somewhere off in the infinite I might make out the sound of a fog horn or imagine the splashing of seagulls hitting the water lazily, their wings pounding out a primal groove on the water's surface.
Behind me I can no longer see the shore, or the bright lights of the life I left behind. Out here, in the endless forever it almost seems as if it might have never happened, all a horrible nightmare, the characters and turning points of that dreamscape fading fast, as if over breakfast in bed on a Saturday morning. I close my eye's and rock with the calm motion of the uncontrollable all around me. I lie back and let blessed lonliness wash over me, Drifting alone in the dark, blindly sailing into nothingness with quiet resolve.
The smell of saltwater reminds me of childhood, collecting shells on the beach, and burying treasures in the sand. I am peaceful here, without cause to rage and growl at the trivial the world seems slower, and I soak it all up, every star in the sky, every detail of the ever-distant horizon, and for the first time in my life I see, and it all seems so very worth it, at long last.
A tear streaks my face as the first rays of dawn touch the ends of my world, lighting up a new shore just ahead, filled with the smiling faces of all the people who fill my heart. A truce between me and my maker, a cease fire that lends peace of mind, and an understanding that I could have never grasped had I not made the journey.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Anti-truth.org
It seems that more, and more you can't turn on the Television, or watch a movie without being bombarded with anti-smoking "Truth" advertisments. The latest shows a father driving his little girl to school in the back of a very "soccer mom"-type minivan, blowing bubbles that drift into the backseat for our hero's daughter to pop and giggle at. Then, superimposed over the happy girl is the slogan "End cigarette's infulence everywhere".
As I sat there, smoke ( from rage and my lit cigarette) pouring out of every opening on my body, I began to see connections to prohibition, in that it was a long, and ridiculous battle fought over the "moral majority" deciding what was good or bad for the botched and bungled masses. All they wanted was a good buzz, but the influence peddler's said "Nay" (Having already gotten their buzz).
Are there not worse things happening in the world today? Are there not more noble causes to invest your considerable time in? Well, I've come up with a few suggestions of my own, campaigns that I think might result in more than just you feeling superior to all us smokers by pointing your stubby little grease covered fingers in our faces. Here we go-
1) Imagine a bright, sunny afternoon in a park. Trees offering shade to adults unwrapping burgers from some fast-food chain, and laying them out on a picnic table next to mountains of fries as a narrator tells us in a child-like voice- "Fast food chains tell us that their low prices will save us money, and that soda is a hydrating liquid". Now enter the sizzling of a fresh coke as it's poured over ice, and a close up of some rich, bright red ketchup as golden brown fries are dipped into it. Now, the narrator tell us "They tell us that their food is good fun and brings the family together", a shot of children laughing on the playground fades to a poorly lit bedroom, where our narrator sits/lays on a stained matress, mushed between the splintered shards of what might have been a bedframe once, long ago. He is easily four hundred pounds and has a large bowl of mac and cheese on his belly as he tells us "But the reality is, you could end up looking like me". Super impose over his gut the slogan "End childhood obesity now."
2) Picture a barren, desert landscape. The sun beating mercilessly down on dry and cracked dirt, not a spec of greenery in sight. As the camera pans over the desolation, buildings come into veiw. Crumbling, half-gone shells of apartments, offices, schools and hospitals all riddled with bullet holes. The camera fades backwards to a small boy lying on the ground with only a loincloth on. He is obviously malnurished, cheek bones over pronounced, eye's sunken in, his ribs like a tiny sewer grate protruding from his mid-section. Just when you start to think that maybe these people are about to ask you for eighty-nine cents a week to help feed this poor kid, a combat boot steps on his head, crushing his skull, and a rifle swings into veiw bearing the American flag on it's ammo cartrige and the words "Let's roll" down the barrel. Super impose over the crushed head the slogan "End war now".
3) invision, if you will a thirty-something lay-about sitting comfortably in a leather reclining desk chair, a computer screen in front of him. To his right is a pack of Doritos, and an unopened jolt cola, to his left is a TV remote control, and a book he's never read, but enjoys the status having it on him brings. As he types away with feverish determination, a narrator tells us "This person has an axe to grind, deep down he feels like a failure, and wants to bring as many people down to his level as he can". Flash to a bar, it's winter, snow is falling and a couple hudles together outside while they smoke after a fun night out, behind them is a large red and white "NO SMOKING" sign on the window of the bar they just left. Zoom in past the "NO SMOKING" sign to inside the bar where four college kids are laughing and jingling car keys as they snort one last shot of whiskey up their nose's before they leave. Now the narrator tells us "Stem cell research promises new cures everyday, including cancer, however, it has yet to show any promise of resurecting the corpses of drunk driving victims". Flash back to our dejected writer as he smiles to himself in a decidely malicious fashion. Super impose over his sneer the slogan "End meaningless, non-profit orgs. now."
As I sat there, smoke ( from rage and my lit cigarette) pouring out of every opening on my body, I began to see connections to prohibition, in that it was a long, and ridiculous battle fought over the "moral majority" deciding what was good or bad for the botched and bungled masses. All they wanted was a good buzz, but the influence peddler's said "Nay" (Having already gotten their buzz).
Are there not worse things happening in the world today? Are there not more noble causes to invest your considerable time in? Well, I've come up with a few suggestions of my own, campaigns that I think might result in more than just you feeling superior to all us smokers by pointing your stubby little grease covered fingers in our faces. Here we go-
1) Imagine a bright, sunny afternoon in a park. Trees offering shade to adults unwrapping burgers from some fast-food chain, and laying them out on a picnic table next to mountains of fries as a narrator tells us in a child-like voice- "Fast food chains tell us that their low prices will save us money, and that soda is a hydrating liquid". Now enter the sizzling of a fresh coke as it's poured over ice, and a close up of some rich, bright red ketchup as golden brown fries are dipped into it. Now, the narrator tell us "They tell us that their food is good fun and brings the family together", a shot of children laughing on the playground fades to a poorly lit bedroom, where our narrator sits/lays on a stained matress, mushed between the splintered shards of what might have been a bedframe once, long ago. He is easily four hundred pounds and has a large bowl of mac and cheese on his belly as he tells us "But the reality is, you could end up looking like me". Super impose over his gut the slogan "End childhood obesity now."
2) Picture a barren, desert landscape. The sun beating mercilessly down on dry and cracked dirt, not a spec of greenery in sight. As the camera pans over the desolation, buildings come into veiw. Crumbling, half-gone shells of apartments, offices, schools and hospitals all riddled with bullet holes. The camera fades backwards to a small boy lying on the ground with only a loincloth on. He is obviously malnurished, cheek bones over pronounced, eye's sunken in, his ribs like a tiny sewer grate protruding from his mid-section. Just when you start to think that maybe these people are about to ask you for eighty-nine cents a week to help feed this poor kid, a combat boot steps on his head, crushing his skull, and a rifle swings into veiw bearing the American flag on it's ammo cartrige and the words "Let's roll" down the barrel. Super impose over the crushed head the slogan "End war now".
3) invision, if you will a thirty-something lay-about sitting comfortably in a leather reclining desk chair, a computer screen in front of him. To his right is a pack of Doritos, and an unopened jolt cola, to his left is a TV remote control, and a book he's never read, but enjoys the status having it on him brings. As he types away with feverish determination, a narrator tells us "This person has an axe to grind, deep down he feels like a failure, and wants to bring as many people down to his level as he can". Flash to a bar, it's winter, snow is falling and a couple hudles together outside while they smoke after a fun night out, behind them is a large red and white "NO SMOKING" sign on the window of the bar they just left. Zoom in past the "NO SMOKING" sign to inside the bar where four college kids are laughing and jingling car keys as they snort one last shot of whiskey up their nose's before they leave. Now the narrator tells us "Stem cell research promises new cures everyday, including cancer, however, it has yet to show any promise of resurecting the corpses of drunk driving victims". Flash back to our dejected writer as he smiles to himself in a decidely malicious fashion. Super impose over his sneer the slogan "End meaningless, non-profit orgs. now."
Deception
We are not safe, we have been lied to by everyone in power, things are not now, nor will they ever be "okay" until the people responsible stand up to be held accountable and make strides to change. By "people responsible", I mean us, all of us. We are fed distractions constantly, anything to keep our eye's off the ball, rolling far out of our reach. Sitcoms, movies, video games, new and improved creature comforts of every shape and size imaginable. We are bombarded with fresh reasons to only care about the immeadiate everyday, new validations for looking out for only yourself with every flip of the channel. It's our own fault, we know that what the most loved/hated celebrity did today or yesterday doesn't really matter. If Madonna, or Angelina Jolie wants to adopt an albino, pigmy midget with a club foot, and only two fingers on their left hand from Botswana it has no real bearing on the issues that cripple us day in and day out, but we eat it up and ask for more, don't we? That we might be gaining weight, or simply not on par with the latest fuckdolls they call "celebrities" in today's brave new world then we can focus on nothing else, it makes us feel like shit all the time, and thats the point, stay weak. Keep looking at the funny monkey that can jump rope and juggle so you won't notice the nefarious hobgoblins rifling through your pockets for anything of worth, injecting you with poisons designed expressly to demotivate, and demoralize you. Had any high fructose corn syrup in the past five years? Then you, my friend have also had gov'ment approved, seriously unhealthy, high level doses of mercury...suprize! So much worthless nonsense takes up all our time, and before we know it, our time is up. We lose the chance to have one last good talk with our mothers or fathers, we lose the chance to tell our siblings how much different, and hollow our lives would have been without them, we lose the chance to tell "the one that got away" how very much we love them despite what our actions might have said in our stead. No one is going to make this better for us, stop depending on things that have let us down time and again, things like God. Never in all the time I've been alive have I felt the presense of omnipotent and otherworldly forces at work in my life (with the exception of a few notable ex-girlfriends), Even if he is there, it's more than obvious that he expects us to go it alone so stop asking for help, and help yourselves!The unnatural calm, and acceptance of the way things are is almost shark-like, a strange air of meance follows every decree of " That's life", "Life isn't fair" or any other reasonable facsimile of such a statement. We hear words like "Financial Security", "Monitary gain", "Obligation", and "Duty" all the time, we rarely ever hear the words "Common good", or " Community" anymore. I don't want to be a productive member of society, society is just the status quo, the mob saying "Be one of us, be like us", a cog in the machine. It's a vicious social circle not very unlike a gang of thugs, only bigger and with better funding...like religion, a broad sweeping call to conform. I want to be a productive member of my community, a much smaller group of individuals all working for a common good, a need born of proximity and interconnected, like-minded goals, I know they sound similar on paper (ok, screen.), but I promise that in practice the two are worlds apart. Know your neighbor, make time to really connect and enjoy the people, and things you love, raise your children full time, focus on what really matters. Your job gives you money, money gives you food, and gas, and cigarettes, and insurance, and water, and heat, and so on, ad nauseum. But, what if you could get those things by contributing to a community, being a part of a working solution? For example: The famer grows the food and tobacco that the chef cooks, and everyone eats...you have to roll your own stog, though. The mechanic makes sure everyone's cars are running, becuase we fed him, the carpenter makes sure everyone has a home and that it stays in good repair, etc.There are a million reasons that people could live together in a community that swapped goods and services, for goods and services, and it wouldn't eat eight to fourteen hours of your day, everyday. You'd know personally the people you were helping and working with. You'd see the fruits of your labor everyday in the "thank you's", smiles of appreciation, and nods of acknowledgment on the faces of everyone. You'd be confident in yourself finally, because you'd have only to look around you to see something truly amazing that you helped create. Every home, every meal, every road would be a testament to what all of us working together are capable of and that would give us so much strength, or maybe just help us recognize how powerful we already are.People are very fond of telling me how weighty my words are, how influential I can be. If I truly believed them, I promise, I'd find the biggest podium I could and shout till my throat bled. Wanting for a podium, but never a message I'll give it a try here: If you are working, stop working. If you are fighting, stop fighting. If you are sad, stop crying. Go home to the people who love you, and really start living.
Nausea
The house passed a bill yesterday that gives the FDA rights to regulate cigarettes. That means that they can change everything, the nicotine content, the shape, the size, the warning label on the box, and even add ingriedients that were not previously there. These are the same people who use words like "acceptable" and "fecal matter" in the same sentence on a regular basis, people who's orders come from behind high walls, from rooms with no windows. They know whats best for you, even if they don't know you, and they are going to force their belief's on us weather we want it or not, conform and like it, or else....
Let me just see if I understand this correctly-The gov'ment owns wallstreet and through wallstreet, our entire "free market" system, the gov'ment owns the car companies, the gov'ment owns the tobacco industry, the gov'ment owns the banks.
Democracy is a form of government in which power is held directly or indirectly by citizens under a free electoral system.
Capitalism is an economic system in which wealth, and the means of producing wealth, are privately owned and controlled rather than commonly, publicly, or state-owned and controlled. Through capitalism, the land, labor, and capital are owned, operated, and traded by private individuals either solely or jointly.
A monopoly, exists when a specific individual or enterprise has sufficient control over a particular product or service to determine significantly the terms on which other individuals shall have access to it. Monopolies are thus characterized by a lack of economic competition for the good or service that they provide and a lack of viable substitute goods. The verb "monopolize" refers to the process by which a firm gains persistently greater market share than what is expected under perfect competition.
Wake up! Our right to choose for ourselves is being systematically erradicated, one tiny, insignificant detail at a time. Cigarettes can only be thumped so much before they are either regulated out of existense, or just plain too expensive to purchase, do you really think that all the people lining their pockets from this endeavor are going to just find REAL jobs when it's all over?! Do you really think it will end here? What's next on Uncle Sam's hit list? How about violence in video games and movies? How about gov'ment regulated music and news casts? Are you ready for an all singing, all dancing, ooey-gooey world that only lets you do/have/enjoy what someone else decides for you?
It's not about a cleaner, safer world. It's not about your health, or the health of the person breathing your air. It's about control, and nothing else. How can we let this happen?! How can we be so gullable, so completely taken over without a fight?! You have nothing to lose, everything that you think you own can be taken away from you at a moments notice, it exsists only to keep you docile, and if that ever gets in the way of what the people in power want, it will be gone by the next day, believe that. The next time you get a free moment look up "The right of imminent domain"...Fuck it, I'll do it for you:
Eminent domain (United States), in common law legal systems is the inherent power of the state to seize a citizen's private property, expropriate property, or seize a citizen's rights in property with due monetary compensation, but without the owner's consent.
You have nothing, save for what the gov'ment thinks will keep you quiet and subservient, and only as long as those things don't affect what they are doing. I say again, wake up! Our time is short and our list of options grows smaller with each passing day.
WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!-Karl Marx
Let me just see if I understand this correctly-The gov'ment owns wallstreet and through wallstreet, our entire "free market" system, the gov'ment owns the car companies, the gov'ment owns the tobacco industry, the gov'ment owns the banks.
Democracy is a form of government in which power is held directly or indirectly by citizens under a free electoral system.
Capitalism is an economic system in which wealth, and the means of producing wealth, are privately owned and controlled rather than commonly, publicly, or state-owned and controlled. Through capitalism, the land, labor, and capital are owned, operated, and traded by private individuals either solely or jointly.
A monopoly, exists when a specific individual or enterprise has sufficient control over a particular product or service to determine significantly the terms on which other individuals shall have access to it. Monopolies are thus characterized by a lack of economic competition for the good or service that they provide and a lack of viable substitute goods. The verb "monopolize" refers to the process by which a firm gains persistently greater market share than what is expected under perfect competition.
Wake up! Our right to choose for ourselves is being systematically erradicated, one tiny, insignificant detail at a time. Cigarettes can only be thumped so much before they are either regulated out of existense, or just plain too expensive to purchase, do you really think that all the people lining their pockets from this endeavor are going to just find REAL jobs when it's all over?! Do you really think it will end here? What's next on Uncle Sam's hit list? How about violence in video games and movies? How about gov'ment regulated music and news casts? Are you ready for an all singing, all dancing, ooey-gooey world that only lets you do/have/enjoy what someone else decides for you?
It's not about a cleaner, safer world. It's not about your health, or the health of the person breathing your air. It's about control, and nothing else. How can we let this happen?! How can we be so gullable, so completely taken over without a fight?! You have nothing to lose, everything that you think you own can be taken away from you at a moments notice, it exsists only to keep you docile, and if that ever gets in the way of what the people in power want, it will be gone by the next day, believe that. The next time you get a free moment look up "The right of imminent domain"...Fuck it, I'll do it for you:
Eminent domain (United States), in common law legal systems is the inherent power of the state to seize a citizen's private property, expropriate property, or seize a citizen's rights in property with due monetary compensation, but without the owner's consent.
You have nothing, save for what the gov'ment thinks will keep you quiet and subservient, and only as long as those things don't affect what they are doing. I say again, wake up! Our time is short and our list of options grows smaller with each passing day.
WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!-Karl Marx
Brothers and sisters of the grindstone
We all live vicariously through the people around us, we revel in the sucesses of our friends and the failures of our enemies alike, we share in the reaped whirlwind of retribution met out on those beyond our reach, and celebrate the victories of like minded causes where ever they might occur in the world. We are all so tied together, in so many different ways that the idea of individuality or a singular consciousness is almost laughable. I would not be the person I am if not for the people around me, and not just friends and family, but enemies too. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that those of you who have conspired to harm me have unwittingly had the largest part to play in my creation, so thank you.
A man is not defined by how he behaves during times of peace, but rather, how level headed, and even tempered he is during conflict and confrontation. A soul is forged in the fires of strife. Stolen moments spent holding someone dear to you, or consumed in the altered time/space continuum of a great conversation that dissolves hours in the blink of an eye are but a brief respite from the pounding that lies in wait. The heavy hammer of reality that must round off, and smooth out our rough edges for the journey that lay ahead.
Where are we going? To what end are we put to the pike?- "Why stay we on this earth, 'cept to grow".
One complete human soul, prep time: 70-75 years
Much like our supossed lord and savior, what we require for vaildation is opposition, a bad guy. The irony is that we are both "the bad guy", and the outcome of facing that obstacle. The idea of loving your enemy, and rejoicing in his succeses is because in doing so, they are strengthening you. It so easy to hate, it reqiures almost no effort at all to disagree with someone or thing, because we need it. How often have you heard the saying "Love takes work", or "A realationship is hard work"? But not the initial connection, that's easy. Love is a two fold luxury never designed or touted for it's staying power, meant to help light our way with companionship for a time, and then vanish like a thief in the night with peices of our hearts, both hardening us over to the harsh realm we call home, and bringing us a little closer to whole, in the end.
Everyone you meet changes you, just as you change everyone you meet. Some are small, barely even noticable while others seem catasrophic upon inital impact. Some happy, some horribly sad, but all serving the same ends- to mold and shape you in fundamental ways. Every single thing we do affects every single thing around us, absolutely. We all want for the same peace, the same stability, even though it might look different to us now, when it's finished it will all be a part of the same weave.
We wage this war against each other not for land, power, money, race or even to appease our own visions of God. Rather we fight to acheive the same goals, we strive for the same heaven, my back is there expressly for your foot, as your foot is expressly there for my back and visa-versa. We nip and tussle with each other out of a nessessity not of our own making, but for our own good, and so I say to you that I love you, unconditionally, and when we reach this fabled place on the backs of our brothers we will no longer be as sperate entities, but one, at long last.
A man is not defined by how he behaves during times of peace, but rather, how level headed, and even tempered he is during conflict and confrontation. A soul is forged in the fires of strife. Stolen moments spent holding someone dear to you, or consumed in the altered time/space continuum of a great conversation that dissolves hours in the blink of an eye are but a brief respite from the pounding that lies in wait. The heavy hammer of reality that must round off, and smooth out our rough edges for the journey that lay ahead.
Where are we going? To what end are we put to the pike?- "Why stay we on this earth, 'cept to grow".
One complete human soul, prep time: 70-75 years
Much like our supossed lord and savior, what we require for vaildation is opposition, a bad guy. The irony is that we are both "the bad guy", and the outcome of facing that obstacle. The idea of loving your enemy, and rejoicing in his succeses is because in doing so, they are strengthening you. It so easy to hate, it reqiures almost no effort at all to disagree with someone or thing, because we need it. How often have you heard the saying "Love takes work", or "A realationship is hard work"? But not the initial connection, that's easy. Love is a two fold luxury never designed or touted for it's staying power, meant to help light our way with companionship for a time, and then vanish like a thief in the night with peices of our hearts, both hardening us over to the harsh realm we call home, and bringing us a little closer to whole, in the end.
Everyone you meet changes you, just as you change everyone you meet. Some are small, barely even noticable while others seem catasrophic upon inital impact. Some happy, some horribly sad, but all serving the same ends- to mold and shape you in fundamental ways. Every single thing we do affects every single thing around us, absolutely. We all want for the same peace, the same stability, even though it might look different to us now, when it's finished it will all be a part of the same weave.
We wage this war against each other not for land, power, money, race or even to appease our own visions of God. Rather we fight to acheive the same goals, we strive for the same heaven, my back is there expressly for your foot, as your foot is expressly there for my back and visa-versa. We nip and tussle with each other out of a nessessity not of our own making, but for our own good, and so I say to you that I love you, unconditionally, and when we reach this fabled place on the backs of our brothers we will no longer be as sperate entities, but one, at long last.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The noise brigade
Step right up folks, don't be shy! Muster your courage, and bear witness to the unthinkable, the terrible, the mind bogglingly wretched, festering horror of...LIFE!!!!!!
Yeees, now you can experience the horrid, and debilitating lonliness of loss. Revel in the glory of ever-lasting love and companionship....did we say "ever-lasting"? Hahahaha! Sorry, our bad.
Soak up the moment you see the person you love with all your being, the person you KNOW you could spend the rest of your life with, as they fall dreamily into the arms of someone better than you! And be sure not to miss the moral lesson of these special keepsakes life bestows on us! That which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger!
Devote your every waking moment to a project that will never, ever work! Make life changeing connections along the way, that will rend the very fiber of your being asunder when they inevitably leave, or betray you!
Trust as if there's not a knife poised over your back, waiting for you to get good, and comfortable before delivering the crippling stroke(Hahaha! because death would just be too easy)! Throw yourself whole-heartedly again, and again into endeavor's that will never bear fruit! Feel the crushing weight of time on your shoulder's as your biological clock ticks away relentlessly in the back of your mind!
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
If you call now, you'll also get our complimentary, completely hereditary, terminal illness to pass along to your loved ones! The first fifteen callers will recieve special placement in the velvet rope section of a thrid world country with no running water or medical care!
As if that weren't enough, we're also going to throw in, at no further cost to you, the opportunity to slave this gift of life away in a camp...I mean, job, that will never provide you with more than "just enough" to scrap by! There-by Ensuring that you never miss a chance to see the disappointment on the faces of those that depend on you!
It is our companies policy, and most sacred promise to you, never to fail in our duty to remind you constantly how important your backs are to the feet of those standing on them to reap all the rewards!
Barnum was right, suckers!
Maximum Overdrive
I've got that Stephen King book on the brain. You know, the one where all the machina goes crazy and attacks people...most notably, semi trucks.
I was almost run off the road today...Twice. The culprit was, as it is most times, a semi truck driver. Now, while today's double near-death experience is most definitly what broke the camel's proverbial back, it was not the first time I've had to swerve for my life from these mindless, shambling behemoths of the freeway. A public nuisance really, a nessessary evil of the consumer driver culture we created, and are now prisoners of.
As a frequenter of interstate 71, and a driver of a tiny black sports car, my battle for existense on the highway is daily one. A person with a decent level common sense might think that as a mature and responsible adult with fourteen more wheels than me, a few tons of steel, and typically hazardous materials of some kind at your fingertips you would feel some sense of obigation to the other drivers on the roadway, but NOOOOOOO!!!!!
I'm the one who has to listen to radio commercials telling ME to drive safely when around truckers, and to watch how close I get to them, ME! I'm the one who has to sweat bullets every time I see one of you. Do I attempt to pass and risk you merging over ontop of me? Do I stay back and pray the you don't rock off the road a bit (which happens almost everytime I see you. Take a break and get some sleep, the life you save could be mine!), and have to jerk back over to save a wreck, mashing your brakes and assuming that I am prepared to manuver around this potential catastrophe. I have prayed more around semi trucks than at any other point in my life thus far (except, perhaps when I'm flying), you get me closer to God...
Goddamn ego maniacal, redneck, mother-fuckin', "We own the road, big truck equals big dick" mentality, cloggin' up my merging lanes, never signaling for a lane change, no marketable trade, chauncy-assed monkeys with licences, YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING DRIVERS ON THE ROAD, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!
All I'm Asking for is the ability to make it to and from work without having to beg the gods to spare the life of thier lowly line cook, one more time. Is that so much? Really?
I was almost run off the road today...Twice. The culprit was, as it is most times, a semi truck driver. Now, while today's double near-death experience is most definitly what broke the camel's proverbial back, it was not the first time I've had to swerve for my life from these mindless, shambling behemoths of the freeway. A public nuisance really, a nessessary evil of the consumer driver culture we created, and are now prisoners of.
As a frequenter of interstate 71, and a driver of a tiny black sports car, my battle for existense on the highway is daily one. A person with a decent level common sense might think that as a mature and responsible adult with fourteen more wheels than me, a few tons of steel, and typically hazardous materials of some kind at your fingertips you would feel some sense of obigation to the other drivers on the roadway, but NOOOOOOO!!!!!
I'm the one who has to listen to radio commercials telling ME to drive safely when around truckers, and to watch how close I get to them, ME! I'm the one who has to sweat bullets every time I see one of you. Do I attempt to pass and risk you merging over ontop of me? Do I stay back and pray the you don't rock off the road a bit (which happens almost everytime I see you. Take a break and get some sleep, the life you save could be mine!), and have to jerk back over to save a wreck, mashing your brakes and assuming that I am prepared to manuver around this potential catastrophe. I have prayed more around semi trucks than at any other point in my life thus far (except, perhaps when I'm flying), you get me closer to God...
Goddamn ego maniacal, redneck, mother-fuckin', "We own the road, big truck equals big dick" mentality, cloggin' up my merging lanes, never signaling for a lane change, no marketable trade, chauncy-assed monkeys with licences, YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING DRIVERS ON THE ROAD, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!
All I'm Asking for is the ability to make it to and from work without having to beg the gods to spare the life of thier lowly line cook, one more time. Is that so much? Really?
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